Mixed Bag

Fifty minutes until my second bread machine loaf of bread is finished.  Putting everything in after 8:45pm?  Probably not the best idea.  Still, this loaf is looking a lot more promising than my first attempt.  This time I'm testing out the recipe for Traditional 100% Whole Wheat Bread from King Arthur Flour since the Marilyn Shannon recipe turned out a very dense bread that ended up going moldy before we even put a dent into it. 

In the meantime, I need to sort some things out after a rough day of endometriosis-related pain and a teething baby who cried unless he was nursing for a good majority of the day.

First of all, my diet.  While it definitely hasn't been the norm lately, today's meal tally prior to 8pm included:

• 2 tablespoons full of chunky natural peanut butter
• A glass of milk
• 5 or 6 cherries
• A handful of almonds

As much as I needed to eat breakfast and lunch today, for some reason I just couldn't convince my appetite to actually do it.  Part of me just wanted to go to sleep rather than eat.  Another part needs to just get over this mental roadblock I've put up in my mind about my husband's idea to go meatless for a month.  (I'm still going to be eating meat to make sure I'm getting enough iron and protein for nursing.)  I'm totally behind the idea of eating more healthful, raw, nutritious foods, but I've sort of gotten into a funk about having to prepare a month's worth of vegetarian dishes.  Instead of being excited about expanding my repertoire, I've honestly been thinking, "I want a hamburger, and/or a meatball sandwich, and/or a barbecue chicken pizza, and/or a taco salad."  Needless to say, my attitude needs a little adjusting.  Thankfully, we'll pick up a half share of organic fruits and veggies this week which should force me to use everything up in as many creative ways as possible. 

Next, my endometriosis.  What the heck?  Am I the only one who feels like their body is falling apart sometimes?  A person should not be conscious of their internal organs during the day unless their stomach growls.  Imagine if people went around saying, "Hmm, my pancreas feels a bit iffy today."  "Oh, I just had a gallbladder cramp!"  Ovaries should not be the exception.  Someone please explain this to my body.

The last time I spoke with my doctor he told me that, if the pain related to my endometriosis was enough to interfere with my daily life, that the next steps would be to begin hormone therapy, i.e. birth control, or to have a surgical procedure called a laparoscopy to visually diagnose me and to laser-remove any endometrial deposits in my abdomen. 

I feel as though I'm experiencing at least some level of pain on a daily basis, but I keep wanting to say, "No, I don't think it's bad enough yet.  This is still manageable."  The hormone therapy route is a dead end.  Before I was married, I was on Yaz for about two years.  My doctor at the time encouraged me to take it as a means of "preserving [my] fertility," which may have actually been what it did. Now that I am married, however, it's completely out of the question for several reasons.  I don't want to be on it again regardless of the principle of double effect.  Laparoscopy is the logical next step, but hopefully it can wait until after Dinobaby is weaned.

On a much lighter note, we put in an offer on the house and it was accepted!  Assuming that the inspection doesn't reveal anything too serious, we have a new house.  Well, and once we pay for it.  That part's in there somewhere, too.  I'm thinking of naming the griffin in the backyard Godric.