Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Social Skills

Lately, I've realized that I need to make a more concerted effort to get out of the house.  My family attended the wedding of two friends over the weekend -- the ceremony and reception were both beautiful -- and in talking to all of our other friends in attendance, I noticed that, I suppose as it should be, all I have to talk about is the baby.

"What's been going on with you lately?"
"Oh, just taking care of the baby."
"Yep.  He's so ready to walk, but right now he's still working on standing on his own."
". . . He's a good eater."
"That's good."

I suppose I should take up some hobbies.  Right now, my free time is spent showering, pumping milk, and watching Netflix.  Not really hobbies.  Must work on this.

Of course it makes perfect sense that all of my thoughts and conversation somehow lead back to the baby in some form or another.  I spend almost twenty-four hours a day with him.  He's my near-constant companion and, as I tell my husband, "he's my baby best friend."  (My husband is still my adult best friend and, naturally,  takes precedence.)

The issue is that most people don't have baby best friends. 

Other moms definitely do, but they too are so caught up in their own children's lives that it's difficult to talk to one another when we get a chance.  It seems like mom conversations are typically about how tired we are or what milestone has recently been checked off the list.  Thankfully, the YaYa Motherhood-Sisterhood of the Traveling Pampers imparts something else into those conversations -- an ability to just talk or NOT talk and have someone who completely understands why you have absolutely nothing else going on apart from your kids.

I've been trying to reconnect with some of my single or baby-free friends whom, it seems like, I haven't spent any time with since before the Dinobabe was born.  The combination of my personality, my love of home, and my aversion to hassles makes it so a little too easy for me to become isolated, just holed up here in our apartment. 

Am I the only one who's had a difficult time finding and keeping really good, trustworthy, honest and true girlfriends?  Up until recently I'd forgotten how important girl talk is.  It's always been easier for me to make friends who are male.  Women seem to be difficult to gauge and, too often, just plain catty.  Ladies, have you had the same problem?

Thankfully, though, I'm getting to know my friends here better.  Weekly coffee dates away from the apartment with another real live person (imagine that!) can really do wonders.  It's reminded me that I need to remember that friends are important, that I need an occasional break even if I'm still taking care of Dinobaby while I'm taking it, and that I really enjoy iced decaf lattes with one Splenda.

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